Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Welcome to My Random Thoughts

So today I decided to start blogging because apparently I think people actually about care what I have to say and/or want to read my thoughts about random topics. Yes randomness that is what this blog will be. I have no set plan to detail a certain event in my young life nor am I narcissistic enough to bore you, my audience, with my day to day activities and really who wants to read about a person's minute by minute account of their day (I don't). Rather this blog is going to be used to pose my random musings about events, ideas, thoughts, and experiences that I have or encounter in my life. I promise I'll try to keep it as entertaining as possible but I can't make any guarantees as there may be days where I feel the need to be serious resulting in an unusual thoughtful post but I promise again to make these tiny inconveniences few and far between.

I guess before I write my first random thought out for you I should tell you a little bit myself... not that you really care :) My name is Stephanie and I am 23 year old female who enjoys long strolls on the beach, quite candlelight dinners by the fire, and curling up with a good book on a rainy day.... Wait that's a lie except that my name is Stephanie, I am 23, and I do like to read a good book on rainy day. But truthfully I am a graduate student at San Jose State University where I'm completing my last semester of requirements for my Masters in Library and Information Sciences. Now before you ask if I'm going to be a librarian the answer is I have no freaking idea because I honestly still have no idea what I want to do with my life. But what person in their mid-20s really does? Very few or at least that's my personal belief. That's really all you're going to get about me today because hey I have to save some details about myself to post in future blogs when I'm feeling particularly self-important.

Now before I blog my first random post I feel the need to warn my readers and give this blog a rating of S for smartassness and sarcasm. Seriously if you have an aversion to sarcasm or smartass people navigate away from this blog immediately.... No really go! If you feel you must continue reading this blog because you're highly intrigued despite my warning then you must accept any emotional or mental scarring is no one's fault but your own as I gave you plenty of time to change the page.

Since introductions have been done and warnings provided it's onward to this blog's first ever random post: an open letter to California drivers.

Dear moronic California drivers,

I would like to take this time to you write you a letter addressing your crazy driving and plain ignorance about the rules of the road. First up just because I have Arkansas license plates on my Nissan Altima does not mean I don't know how to drive on a freeway or major highway. Yes in fact we do have cities and paved roads in the state as well as both on ramps and off ramps thus I know how to navigate the exchanges just fine. What does this mean? Well it means you do not need to cut me off because you think I don't know where I'm going even though I've driven the route daily nearly the past two months. Seriously does it really matter to you and how you're day goes if you follow behind a car from Arkansas for more than 5 seconds before speeding up and getting in front of me just because you think I'm an idiot. This leads me into my second point that if you're going to be a jerk and cut me off because of my plates do not slow down to 10 mph below the speed limit when you know I was going 5 mph over the speed limit. This really does not make any sense and only makes me want to ride your bumper.

The third grievance I must address is merging. Seriously it's not a hard concept to understand though I'm aware the California education system has slipped greatly in the last couple of decades so you might not be able to completely understand the counting involved but the rule is it's one car per car. Just think of it like shuffling a deck of cards, I mean visuals help right? I will never understand how you drivers rationalize that 10 cars should be allowed to merge between two cars that are already on the freeway. I'll just chalk it up to the fact you probably never learned to count past 1. Freeways bring me to my fourth issue as well and is more directed at the the Dept. of Transportation rather than the drivers, but seriously expressways are not meant to have stoplights. The whole point of an expressway is that it's the express route! If I wanted to be stopped at a light every 1/10th of a mile I would have taken residential roads not a major highway. My last and final grievance of the night is the one that makes me wish Bumper Cars were allowed on the road. My dear California drivers when you know you need all the way over in the right lane to turn please do not continue to drive in the far left lane until the actual turn. The resulting events are you darting across the lanes in a 1 second time frame and turning all the while cutting me off with little time for me to slam on my brakes to keep my moderately priced car from slamming into your precious BMW, Lexus, and/or Range Rover. Honestly it's not going to kill you or take any longer for you to make the turn if you get in the right lane at least a quarter of a mile back... though I might actually kill you by ramming my car into your's the next time you decide to be a daredevil.

These are my current grievances with you Mr. and Ms. California driver though I'm sure tomorrow and Thursday when I make my way out of this weird state you'll give me plenty more for a follow-up blog in the future. Also let's go and ahead clarify that this letter is for the 99.6% of you who apparently learned to drive by watching Looney Tunes and so to the other .4% just ignore this letter and enjoy your drive.

Sincerely and with Best Regards,

1 comment:

    Please keep on with the smartassiness and sarcasm. So refreshing, hahaha. Your driving scenario reminds me of that insurance commercial with Mayhem--- stupid expensive cars just TRYING to get hit...

    Too bad there are horrible drivers evvvverywhere... uggh... but wouldn't it be grand if we could send ALL of the bad drivers to Cali? Just sayin'...

    Please post more =)

    PS I love the orange =)